6 Newmojis Coming at You

3 new bitmojis for Newmoji Friday + 3 new Valentine’s Day bitmojis bring us a total of 6 to review this week…

Honk! Honk! Honk! Beep! Beep! Beep! Honk!

It’s illegal in many places to text while driving, but are you technically driving when you’re stuck in a virtual parking lot of unmoving traffic that all too many of us face on altogether too many occasions? What I’m saying is: nobody should get arrested for dashing this bitmoji off to their friends to let them know they’re stuck in a gruelingly snarled traffic nightmare. This is one of the most relatable bitmojis ever, and I love the art execution and that it looks like none that have come before it.

Tears of Joy

There have already been a few bitmojis over the years that demonstrate the idea of “Tears of joy” without coming right out and having that as the text. And that’s not even counting the many bitmojis that feature the avatar laughing and crying at the same time. But sometimes the situation calls for no subtlety, and so, while this new bitmoji does not inspire tears of joy from me, it’s, you know, pretty good, I guess.

Related bitmojis:

Music Surfing

Up until now there hasn’t been a bitmoji that captures what this one does: that feeling of being swept away into your own little world by the power of music to connect with you and move you emotionally and/or physically. I’m not sure that having the avatar surfing on a quarter note on a music staff in outer space is the best way to convey that feeling, but it’s a decent one.

Related bitmojis:

Be My Pal-entine?

Not everyone has a bae to spend Valentine’s Day cuddled up with or an active crush to woo with a more traditional V-day message, so it’s sorta nice to have this non-romantic option available as a way to adapt the holiday to your own uses, celebrating the love between close friends—what the ancient Greeks called philia.

Related bitmojis:

Bee My Valentine?

Never really understood the wordplay of substituting “bee” for “be” found on Valentine’s cards (what do bees have to do with V-day or love in general? Nothing, one would hope!). It kind of feels like the folks at Bitmoji forgot that Valentine’s Day was upon us until the very last moment, and so quickly dusted off the Bumblebee outfit first spotted on bitmoji avatars in 2016, slapped a heart and a bad pun on it, and said “Ship it!” And yet, I can’t bring myself to rate this too harshly. The bee suit is fucking cute, yo.

Related bitmojis:

Happy Valentine’s Day Card

In support of my theory that Valentine’s Day was an afterthought for Bitmoji this year is this low-effort entry that recycles the card template from “Happy mother’s day” and slaps on red hearts and appropriate (if banal) text for a different holiday. UPDATE 2/17/2019: There is now further evidence that Bitmoji recognized that this was not their finest work. Just three days after being released this bitmoji and “Bee my valentine?” (above) are already retired. Most holiday-themed bitmojis are what I label “seasonal”—for most of the year they aren’t available by browsing the app, but they remain available through the search function. “Be my pal-entine?”, for instance, is still available via search, but this 3-rated bitmoji is not. Wish they hadn’t taken away the Bumblebee suit one with it though. Guess it was collateral damage.

Related bitmojis:

NOTE: While the 10-rating, 5-rating, and 1-rating are actual official bitmojis, the rest of the ratings (0, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, and 9) are unofficial custom creations, so you don’t expect to find them in the Bitmoji app or The Bitmoji Museum Archives. Names applied to particular bitmojis are entirely unofficial and used only for convenience.

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