Last 4 Newmojis of March ’19

It’s been a subpar month for new bitmoji releases so far, with a notable and disappointing lack of new art or impressive creativity on display. Nothing has rated higher than an 8 since the release of “Honk! Honk!” in mid-February. Will March close out as disastrously as last month did? Let’s take a look!

Trapped in Jell-O

As if they’d been reading my reviews and taking my criticisms to heart, the Bitmoji team managed to pull itself together to recapture the spirit of past glories with this outstanding offering featuring the avatar helplessly stuck inside a lime green Jell-O mold, the likes of which I haven’t seen in person since childhood, but may well see in my nightmares tonight.

Related bitmojis:

Leaf Me Alone

New art? Check. SMH-level bad word play? Check. Unique new font stylings? Check. So why only a 6? Something about this newmoji just seems a little off, and I think it’s the slight smile on the avatar’s face that seems like a mismatch for the sentiment expressed. Believe it or not, Bitmoji isn’t the first to make a Leaf Me Alone cartoon, and a Google Image search shows that the near-universal accompanying facial expression on the anthropomorphized leaf is a frown, or at most an entirely neutral straight-line mouth shape. The smile comes off as if the avatar looks proud of their terrible pun because its so clever. And it’s not. Cute, yes! Clever, no.

Related bitmojis:

I Think I’m In Love

Ah, yes. OK, here we are back to the level of effort we’ve grown accustomed to this month. Presumably exhausted from drawing the green Jell-O mold BotW above, the Bitmoji artists set their ambitions low for this one, taking a decently unique phrase that’s a welcome addition to the things-I-can-express-through-bitmojis list, and pairing it with an uninspired and uninspiring avatar pose and font selection. Why not a more comically dramatic swoon, or at least a surrounding aura of sparkly hearts or such? There’s a place for simple, uncluttered bitmojis, but when recent offerings have been as lackluster as they have of late, this smacks more of laziness than calculated simplicity.

Related bitmojis:

Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf

I think this is a new bitmoji this week, but honestly I’m not even sure. I noticed it in the app a couple days back, thought it looked new, and then verified that it did not already have a listing in the very comprehensive Bitmoji Museum Archives. On the other hand, it wasn’t grouped with the other new bitmojis that are traditionally shown off each Friday toward the top of the “Popular” grouping of bitmojis seen when you launch the app. Of course, there’s not a lot “new” about this bitmoji since it’s the same dog suit that’s been featured twice in the past 3 years, and is anybody going to argue that “Arf” treading ground that last year’s “Woof!” left unexplored? It may just be that I’ve never been a dog person, and a big part of the reason why is well summed up by the text to this newmoji. Arf. Arf arf arf arf arf. Dogs will not @#$%’n shut the hell up with their aggro barking while I’m trying to sleep or just have a thought. Maybe the folks at Bitmoji felt they had to add some “balance” to last week’s duo of new cat suit releases, but I think even sane dog lovers recoil in horror at sight and sound of the little-ass yappy dogs that “Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf” seems to be some kind of misplaced tribute to.

Related bitmoji:

NOTE: While the 10-rating, 5-rating, and 1-rating are actual official bitmojis, the rest of the ratings (0, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, and 9) are unofficial custom creations, so you don’t expect to find them in the Bitmoji app or The Bitmoji Museum Archives. Names applied to particular bitmojis are entirely unofficial and used only for convenience.

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